Are Your Abusers Still Accessing You?

I was never ritually abused but I was narcissistically abused by a man that pursued me for his own benefit. Handlers and Narcissists are very similar. One was programmed to be abusive, and the other, it came naturally through a screwed up childhood. In both cases, you have to completely cut off communication with them. Block them from your phone, messages, email, etc. Do not go to the same places they go to and don’t let them into your home, even if this means your parents or husband. Take your kids and go to a shelter for abused women.  Tell them your family member trafficked you and the kids (assuming that is what happened because that is usually what happens). Enlist the help of a friend to get you there and put them between you and your family member.  They will be your liaison.  Do not talk to your handler.  Get a lawyer right away with help from Relentless Hope.  You will need to divorce or file a restraining order.  If your handlers are your parents, you owe them nothing.  Do not take their calls or visits.

This is extremely difficult as you more than likely loved your handler. Their charm and love bombing will deceive you. They will make promises or say anything to get you back into the fold (back under their control). But watch out, this is a carefully crafted assault on your soul as they do not care about you. They just want to use you. The love-abuse-love cycle they put you through is used to create a soul tie with you. This is what makes it so hard to break off your relationship with them. But you have to do it to save yourself and get healthy. The answer is NO CONTACT.  Then talk this through with an advocate or counselor to keep you strong and accountable as you will need support through this process.

When I went through this, it was the hardest thing I had ever did in my life. It felt like I was dying.  I wanted to go back to my abuser so bad.  “That’s insane,” I thought.  I knew he was bad for me but there was a pull and strong desire to be in his presence because it was better to get some attention than no attention at all.  Who else would want me?  I’m damaged goods, right?” Only he understood me.  All of this was a lie.

Little did I know that neurotransmitters running through my brain was the cause of my thoughts and feelings.  In addition, the conditioning I went through bonded me to my abuser.  I loved and hated him all at once. I knew I had to cut ties.  How about you?  How do you feel about your handler?

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