[Cindy]

As a victim of SRA in the LDS community, there is a HIGH likelihood that the ones involved in ANY ward will know who they can access. That information will follow you to every ward because of the way they communicate with each other. Your handlers will be in contact with your local leadership so you can be monitored and accessed as they desire. It is truly not a safe place for any victim – and unfortunately there are not many victims who really even know they’re victims or know how to get out of it.
Unfortunately, the idea that there are only a “few bad apples” in the church is not true. I can speak first hand as a victim of top leadership of the church. I’m referring to the presidency and the twelve…which means the top 15 apostles. I can also say that it filters down in very direct lines and ways. It’s not just local level people, it’s systemic. And they communicate with each other.
There are also re-conditioning methods that are used to keep victims terrorized and programmed. Blood cult ceremonies and rituals around the sacrament, baptism, confirmations, weddings, ordinations and family activities are used, as are songs, books, lessons, phrases and memorized commitments (such as the Young Woman’s Theme).
It is well designed and well executed.
The question to stay or go is not an easy one for those who have heavy conditioning around leaving – which would also be a program.
There are ways to deprogram your conditioning and free yourself, and often this requires leaving people and places and beliefs that you held dear at one time (or still do). It’s a full systemic release and recalibration. And it really can’t be done overnight…but it can be done. I did it. And it’s liberating.

[Cindy]

Do you know who your handlers are?

If so, you’ll find an incredible amount of safety and relief if you cut off all contact with them.

[Cindy]

Hello HiShosh, Have you been able to track when or how you were triggered to contact or communicate with them? The “Reporter/Recorder” part is a program installed in all SRA/MKUltra victims so they can monitor you and others. I used to have a photographic memory of conversations that I could repeat verbatim when I was still being accessed, and I was aware of it – I just thought it was a cool ability I had. I didn’t know it was an actual part and program. Usually you’ll report to some main handlers. If you keep a record of who you feel you compulsively tell information to, or over-give information/details to, that could be a good thing to follow. Have you been able to track who your handlers are? If your abuse was through birth family, then it’s pretty typical to have handlers there…and most likely the ones you’d trust the most. Handlers don’t necessarily know they’re handlers either – they would also have their own reporter parts if they’re not conscious of it.
Are you sensitive to tones, or words or particular songs? (church hymns, or primary songs?) What about mail…like birthday cards? Are you still attending church or have contact with other church members?
Are you losing time?
Some of these things will really help you know where you are with it and can help you follow the clues there for you.

[Author]

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