I was never ritually abused but I was narcissistically abused by a man that pursued me for his own benefit. Handlers and Narcissists are one in the same. One was programmed that way and the other, it comes naturally through a screwed up childhood. In both cases, you have to completely cut off communication with them. Block them from your phone, messages, email, etc. Do not go to the same places they go to and don’t let them into your home.

This is extremely difficult as you more than likely love this person as a friend or otherwise. Their charm and love bombing will deceive you. They will make promises or say anything to get you back into the fold (back under their control). But watch out, this is a carefully crafted assault on your soul as they do not care about you. They just want to use you. The love-abuse-love cycle they put you through is to used to create a soul tie with you. This is what makes it so hard to break off your relationship with them. But you have to do it to save yourself and get healthy. The answer is NO CONTACT.

Now what if you share children with this person? You’ll have to engage the gray rock strategy. This is where you completely avoid contact with this person unless absolutely necessary. When you do have to communicate, you appear completely disinterested in anything they have to say. Say what you need to say as quickly and resolute as possible. Do not chat or have small talk. Just be a complete dead fish. If they start using codes or accessing your parts, then don’t talk to them at all but have a friend or trusted family member do the talking/texting for you like a lawyer who negotiates a settlement. Remember you and your children’s lives are at stake.

Relationships with handlers and narcissists are TOXIC. Pray for God’s strength to get away.